Be who you Are.

Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent.

Parker Palmer

Random thought.

I was browsing through a section entitled Used Books.

And I remember thinking suddenly:

Funny. Used books. Used books. How does one use up books? By reading them the first time? Used books.

What if it's they who are using us?

(shiver)

Scary thought.

If you were a film...what would you be?

At lunch yesterday, I was with Aisha and Nina. They were talking about something which didn't interest me and out of the blue I murmured into my pasta:

"I feel like a noir film."

Aisha looks at me from over her glass and says, "How does a noir film feel like?"

"Bleak. Your outlook is the color of a bruise - everything's hopeless. Like you're trying to walk underwater, it's slow and impervious to you."

"What is?" Nina asks.

"Life."

I looked at Nina and managed a slow grin, perhaps to change the subject. "If you were a film you'd be a war flick." Just to rile her up.

"Thanks."

As Aisha watched us, I turned and jutted my chin out in her direction: "I know what you'd be, Aish. You'd be a documentary - on the Discovery Channel!" Nina and I finish together, grinning.

"That's perfect!" Nina agrees with me.

"What about you?" Aish asks me, exchanging a quizzical look with Ninz.

"Easy. I'd be one of those biographies. You know, like my own E! True Hollywood story. Something flakey and conceited like that! Only I would be the one interviewing myself." I mimic how an episode would go.

We look around us and laugh.

Then Aish suddenly stops chuckling and turns to me. "You know what. I know what you'd be."

Ninz and I look at her.

"You, Sasha, would be a series of short films."

"Hm? Short. Like a cartoon?"

"No, a series of short films. You're different from moment to moment. You have to get that first before you can guess what the whole flick's about."

"Sasha, Je T'aime, anyone?" I said after a moment, because I wait for Nina and Aisha to stop nodding to each other, laughing and exclaiming how A just gave the perfect description.

.....

What can I say? Bipolar anyone?

I live in moments.

And don't the world know it.

(well.. and don't I love it.)

Llamame Azul.

To hide a passion totally (or even to hide, more simply, its excess) is inconceivable: not because the human subject is too weak. But because passion is, in essence, made to be seen: I want you to know that I am hiding something from you, that is the active paradox I must resolve: at one and the same time it must be known and not known: I want you to know that I don't want to show my feelings: that is the message I address to the other.

- Unknown

Everybody has a Theory.

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.

- from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert