So now I'm starting things all over again.
I have worked since I was eighteen years old.
And it's only been these last three months since I've been back in Manila that I have stopped being a work mule and have just started to have fun.
I tell you - that my fun is no longer fun.
That I have been out all night and all day and in my craving for fun, I have forgotten my search for happiness.
I have short term fun and I am doing nothing as yet to work on my long term happiness.
Let's face it - my grandmother isn't getting any younger. And yet I leave her most nights in search of these "fun things". Drinking. Celebrating with friends. Forgetting that I have not yet done anything in these past few months of my life worth celebrating.
I am now in training once more to be a Radio DJ at a local radio station - at last, at least a step in the right direction.
But what about everything else?
In my crusade to prove to everyone in Brunei - not everyone really, but simply the man who is the main reason I have been sent back to Manila - in my crusade to prove that nothing I am is diminished by what I have gone through in the past, I have totally and completely forgotten what matters.
So now I am going to slick my hair back (with these long curly locks, good luck with that!) and I am going to once more begin my search for balance. Go down that road long enough, and I know I will finally find my happiness once more.
All it takes is one small step.
The right one.
I have worked since I was eighteen years old.
And it's only been these last three months since I've been back in Manila that I have stopped being a work mule and have just started to have fun.
I tell you - that my fun is no longer fun.
That I have been out all night and all day and in my craving for fun, I have forgotten my search for happiness.
I have short term fun and I am doing nothing as yet to work on my long term happiness.
Let's face it - my grandmother isn't getting any younger. And yet I leave her most nights in search of these "fun things". Drinking. Celebrating with friends. Forgetting that I have not yet done anything in these past few months of my life worth celebrating.
I am now in training once more to be a Radio DJ at a local radio station - at last, at least a step in the right direction.
But what about everything else?
In my crusade to prove to everyone in Brunei - not everyone really, but simply the man who is the main reason I have been sent back to Manila - in my crusade to prove that nothing I am is diminished by what I have gone through in the past, I have totally and completely forgotten what matters.
So now I am going to slick my hair back (with these long curly locks, good luck with that!) and I am going to once more begin my search for balance. Go down that road long enough, and I know I will finally find my happiness once more.
All it takes is one small step.
The right one.
